


Janus Takes Logan Dancing and Remus Eats Far Too Much Meatloaf.

by wow_thats_angsty



Series: The braincells bein' Cute while everything goes to shit. [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: (?), Author Is Not Religious, Cheesecake, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Food, Homoeroticism, Humor, Inappropriate use of tango, M/M, Minor Violence, Murder, No Smut, Roman Sanders is Not Okay (TM), Sexual Tension, Tango, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Violence, killing god
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-15 01:35:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29925948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wow_thats_angsty/pseuds/wow_thats_angsty
Summary: From the makers of “Homoerotic Roceit Fight Scenes™” I bring you, “Homoerotic Loceit Tango Scenes™”And also Patton kills God I guess.
Relationships: Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: The braincells bein' Cute while everything goes to shit. [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114832
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	Janus Takes Logan Dancing and Remus Eats Far Too Much Meatloaf.

**Author's Note:**

> Tw: Food, Sexual humor(?), Sexual tension, somewhat graphic depiction of someone eating, murder, death threats, war crimes, violence. (This is far more lighthearted than I’m making it sound, I swear.) If I need to add more, please let me know 
> 
> I exclusively listened to a slowed version of Sway by (? the man does a lot of covers alright) Michael Buble and My Brother, My Brother, and Me clips while writing this (you can guess which is which) I would also like to say that one of my other fics has bled into this one and is kind of a hint towards what Logan’s chapter will be. I apologize, I am legitimately obsessed with the idea of Janus and Logan dancing the tango. So yeah, have a nice day/ night wherever you are <3

“Remus, I swear to God, if you eat another slice of meatloaf, I will fucking strangle you.” Said Virgil, dangerous edge to his voice; you would’ve thought he’d threatened to commit a war crime (not an uncommon occurrence for Remus). Roman had just dared Remus to eat several slices of meatloaf, which Remus took with stride because he had no impulse control and enjoyed one-upping his brother. 

“Remus, you’re gonna be constipated later, don’t come crying to me when you won’t be able to use the bathroom,” Patton said as Remus shoved more vague meat into his mouth.

“C’mon, Re, you can do better. Those are rookie numbers.” Said Roman, slamming his fist on the mall court table. Remus nodded, trying to shovel more food into his mouth at higher speeds. 

“You’re gonna regret this when he finally takes a shit and it’s in your bathroom.” Virgil sipped from his diet coke, swirling around the straw before taking another bite of his pizza. Roman glared at him, lips curved into an annoyed frown. 

“I’m just speaking truth.” Shrugged Virgil, pointing at Roman with a lazy finger. Roman rolled his eyes, turning to his brother, who was not even finished with the four whole meatloaves that they’d bought so Remus could complete the dare. 

Patton sighed, gesturing to the twins exhaustedly, then digging his fork into his cheesecake, thoroughly enjoying the treat while he watched the wholly sinful way Remus was shoving meatloaf into his face. 

_____

“Janus, are you entirely certain? I am not the most adept at dancing-” The way the light in Janus’s eyes dimmed broke Logan’s heart in two, he’d never want to see his darling like that, “-but, I’d be willing to try.” Janus’s face lit up again, he held Logan’s face and gave him a peck on the lips. 

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He said, touching his forehead to Logan’s. 

“Be ready by five.” Said Janus, getting up from his spot on the couch, bouncing back to his room. Logan didn’t think he was going to have all that much fun, but it was going to make Janus happy, and that was what mattered. 

_____

“Remus, I think you should stop, it’s getting very worrying at this point.” Said Patton, reaching to Remus only for him to slap the other’s hand away.

“Actually, Pat, I kinda wanna see where this goes. However gruesome.” Said Virgil, staring intensely at Remus’s meatloaf eating competition with himself. 

Patton winced, taking another bite of his cheesecake to soothe his pain. 

“On a lighter note, how’s your cheesecake, Pat?” Said Roman, trying to ignore the grotesque noises coming from the chair next to him. 

Deadpan, Patton replied, “I would kill God over this cheesecake.” 

Virgil shrugged, shoving his pizza slice into his mouth, “Would totally watch you pull a Kirby, just straight up inhale God.” 

Patton sighed, “If only, then I could force him to rid the world of-” Patton looked to Remus, who was just starting his second meatloaf, staring down the others with determination. He sobbed internally, for only a world so cruel could allow this to exist. “-sin.” 

Everyone at that table glanced to Remus, Patton with discomfort and the other two with a vested interest.

_____

Logan took a deep breath. He sat at his desk chair; it was turned to face the door. He bounced his leg up and down, up and down. He was overcome with nervousness, he was afraid he be a drag on Janus’s excitement, though he managed to put those thoughts to rest, reassuring himself over and over that Janus loved him as much as he did Janus, and if it were reversed, he didn’t think Janus could ever quell his excitement, rather, heightening it because it was Janus; His beloved, his darling. 

A knock at the door shook Logan out of his thoughts. Logan clambered his way over to the door, limbs awkward and uncoordinated; another reason he was apprehensive about dancing, he was not the most graceful or coordinated of the bunch. 

He opened the door to a very sunny and enthusiastic Janus, holding out a hand for Logan to take. Logan shyly took it; Janus, sensing Logan’s uncertainty, gently squeezed his hand, assuring him, “You don’t have to dance if you don’t want to-” Smiling cheekily, he leaned against the doorframe- “you could always watch me.” Logan chuckled, tension in his shoulders easing ever so slightly. 

The two walked to a dance hall Janus had rented out from Roman, Janus sighed when reminded of the memory...

_“You want to use my studio? Fine, I want two-hundred dollars then.”_

_“What? That’s ludicrous, Roman, and you know it. We’re friends, why can’t I use it for free?”_

_“You can’t mooch free stuff off of me, Jan, and because we’re such close friends, you should support me a little more; 275, minimum, I’ll throw in champagne for 300.”_

_“God, you’re such a prick, and a terrible business-man, Ro. I know where it is and you can’t stop me from just using it.”_

_“That’s illegal.”_

_“We’re imaginary, Ro. Do you know how many war-crimes Remus has committed? He’d be hanged 7 times over, I think using my friend’s studio is fine.”_

_“Fine, can you at least give me ten bucks so I feel like I walked out of this interaction with SOMETHING!”_

_“Whatever…”_

Janus turned on music, swiftly walking over to Logan. 

“Do you know how to tango?” Asked Janus, wrapping his arms around Logan’s neck. Logan shook his head. Janus slyly grinned; it made Logan’s heart flutter. 

“Would you like me to teach you?” Said Janus, fiddling with Logan’s collar, staring up at him with an emotion that Logan couldn’t name. Logan gulped and nodded.

“Well, the tango is a game of seduction.” Janus began, picking up on Logan’s tension and anxiety, he said, “Relax for me, darling. Breathe deep. The tango is unhurried... but still passionate.” Logan nodded, allowing himself to melt in Janus’s hold. Once completely relaxed, Janus continued.

“Put your hand on my upper back, hold your arm out around shoulder level. Apply light pressure onto my back.” Said Janus, in a loving and tender lilt. Logan did as he said, Janus reciprocating by clasping Logan’s outstretched hand in his own and placing his hand on Logan’s shoulder, applying the same delicate pressure that Logan was to Janus’s back. 

“Push back against my hand just a little, love- there you go, very good.” Said Janus, and if he were speaking to anyone else, he would’ve sounded patronizing. But he was with Logan, so it sounded more fond than anything else. 

“And we become one. I can’t move without you, and you can’t move without me.” He said, demonstrating by lightly pushing against Logan’s hand, causing Logan’s hand to move with his. 

“Just follow my lead and move with me, Logan, can you do that?” Logan nodded. He could feel his strain slipping away. It felt like it was only the two of them in the entirety of the universe. He could dance with Janus here forever, leisurely, but still filled with emotion. Logan could let go of his resolve and just sway with Janus there, lazy and slow, but still passionate. 

“I love you,” Logan drawled out, the fire that burned in the pit of his stomach demanded that he express his longing for his lover. 

Janus hummed, carefully stepping with Logan, “I love you too.” The two turned, swayed, and stepped. Logan was having a much better time than he’d assumed he would earlier. 

Desire crept up on both of them, striking suddenly. Janus had taught Logan how to dip, and he couldn’t help but breaking their clutch and holding Janus flush against him, kissing him deeply. Janus made a squeak of surprise but quickly started clawing at the front of Logan’s shirt, kissing back fervently. 

“You know, the way you’re grabbing at my shirt, I’d assume you’d want it off.” Said Logan, holding a finger underneath Janus’s chin. 

“Flirt.” Janus accused, grasping at Logan’s collar, pulling him again, placing small kisses on Logan’s neck. 

“Please, Janus, I-” Said Logan, in a hushed whisper, desperation leaking from his voice.

Janus smirked, gently booping Logan’s nose, “I did say it was a game right? And you’re losing, sweetie.” He was well aware he was playing into Logan’s competitive nature, but he still wanted to dance. 

Logan would glare but he was too caught up in lust to even care at all, resuming the tango position they’d been in before, but it was far faster, fueled by burning desire and competition.

“Alright, love, game on.” 

_____

“Can I have some?” Asked Virgil, pointing at Patton’s cheesecake. Patton nodded, sliding Virgil the plate. 

“You’re right, this cheesecake is really good.” Said Virgil, pushing the plate back to Patton. Roman perked up, “I wanna try some.” Patton shrugged and pushed the plate toward Roman. He took a bite, humming delight, “This is actually great.” 

Remus lifted his head but Roman pushed it back into his plate of meatloaf, smiling as he did so. 

A very mysterious man sprinted up to them and snatched Patton’s cheesecake, everyone (including Remus with meatloaf in his mouth) gasped and stood up. 

“Hey, get back here! You didn’t pay for that!” Shouted Roman, running after the stranger. Virgil, Patton, and Remus followed (Remus carrying the three meatloaves he was still working on). 

Remus chucked one of the meatloaves at the stranger, they dodged it and continued running. Remus chucked another, they dodged again, but it was close. The last meatloaf flew through the air, almost majestic as it hit the stranger in the back of the head. The stranger stopped to rub the back of their head. The rest of the group gained speed but the stranger was faster. They chased them out of the mall, growing weary in their pursuit of the cheesecake. 

Soon, they had cornered the stranger in an alleyway.

“Woah, Woah, Woah, let’s take it easy, fellas.” Said the stranger, a sort of fucked up quality to their voice, like it wasn’t supposed to be strained through vocal cords. 

Remus, though a mouthful of meatloaf, pounding his palm with his fist, said, “Hoo, bucko, ya done goofed, you never wanna steal food from Patton.” Pointing to the small ball of pure rage (also known as Patton Sanders). 

“Kiddos, I would look away.” Said Patton, eerily calm. The screams of terror would haunt Roman forever, Virgil just didn’t care, Remus would be relatively unfazed but still regret looking away when Patton told him to. 

“Well, that’s strange.” Said Patton, picking up the cheesecake as light emanated from the mangled body. 

“Pat, I think you actually killed God over this cheesecake.” Said Virgil, “Also remind me to never steal food from you ever.” 

Roman just stood in shock, “Oh sweet Jesus, I think we just murdered God in cold blood.” 

Remus, finally swallowing his meatloaf, said, “I think the real predicament here is why God was in the Imagination in the first place” 

Virgil shrugged, “That’s not my problem now, is it?” 

Patton shifted nervously, “Do you think we should get rid of the body?” 

Remus made a noncommittal noise that sounded like, “Eh, Roman and I are kings, we’ll have someone else clean it up later.” 

“Do you think God is going to heaven?” Said Virgil, staring down at the nightlight of a corpse. 

Remus snorted, “No.” 

Patton shrugged, “Maybe.” 

Roman stayed quiet. 

The four of them walked back to the food court, Roman completely shaken and the rest of them having a pleasant conversation about how they _had_ to start frequenting the cafe Patton had gotten the cheesecake from. 

“So no one wants to talk about Patton murdering God?” Said Roman, head in his hands. 

Virgil frowned, “The guy was a douche.” 

Remus shook his head, “He also makes terrible tea.” 

Patton pointed at Remus, “Yeah, Jan makes much, _much_ better tea.” 

_____

Janus gripped the back of Logan’s neck as he was lowered toward the floor. Both of them lost in a flurry of whispered kisses. They clung to one another like tides to the shore. Both dancing like stray petals in the wind. They could only see one another on the floor, it was only the two of them in the whole world. 

“You work like magic, my love.” Said Janus, running his hands down Logan’s chest. Logan shivered, “Though I could never be as talented as you could. You make me weak, dear.” Logan stepped swiftly, spinning the two of them around. Janus nipped at his neck, Logan dipped Janus, “If I could have it my way, I’d push you up against the wall and do unspeakable things to you.” 

Janus chuckled, “Was that not the reward of our little game?” Logan groaned, pulling Janus up again, both stepping smoothly to the beat of the music. 

Logan spun Janus into him, trapping Janus in his grip with his arm, leaning down to whisper in his ear, “Oh it is, most definitely, my love. And it’s why I’m going to win. I’d just love to see your face, I bet it’d look wonderful.” Logan sloppily kissed Janus’s shoulder. Janus whined, “You’re a tease.” 

Logan laughed, boisterous and loud, “Oh, darling, so are you, it’s why we work so well together.” 

The two returned to their position, spinning around the room, each step more intense than the last. Desire burned like a roaring fire in the pit of his stomach, all Janus wanted was Logan, but he refused to admit defeat. Logan spun him around, holding Janus to him, a hand on his abdomen, the other gripping his wrist, pulling it away from him. 

“Considering the situation we’re in, I’d think you want my hands closer to yo-” Janus cut himself off as Logan sucked a bruise into his neck. “Logan!” He gasped loudly, without any sort of shame.

“Fuck it, you win.” Janus pulled away from Logan, who was grinning so wide his face might as well split in half. “Have your way with me, please, Lo-” Janus was pushed against the wall.

The two of them would never admit to Roman what happened that night, but Roman figured it out pretty quickly. Both because neither of them returned to their rooms and the smell of the studio when he walked in. He was both proud and disgusted.


End file.
